Episode 26: The Advice About Your Perimenopause Symptoms Has It Completely Backwards

The Advice About Your Perimenopause Symptoms Has It Completely Backwards

You cut the sugar.

Started going to bed earlier.

Stopped scrolling at night.

Added magnesium. Drank more water. Tried to manage your stress.

Basically, you did all the things you were told you were supposed to do during perimenopause.

And somehow…you still don't feel better.

At some point, a thought starts creeping in:

What the hell is wrong with my body?

I understand why you'd think that.

When you’re waking up at 3AM, exhausted all afternoon, irritated by things that normally wouldn’t bother you, dealing with brain fog and wondering where your old energy went, it can absolutely feel like your body has turned against you.

But what if it hasn’t?

What if the way you’ve been taught to interpret your symptoms is part of the problem?

Your Symptoms Aren't Random

Yes, your hormones are changing during perimenopause.

But “it’s your hormones” can become a catch-all explanation that leaves you with nowhere to go.

Your sleep sucks? Hormones.

Hot flashes? Hormones.

Mood all over the place? Hormones.

Exhausted? Hormones.

Okay…but then what?

This is where I want you to look at your symptoms differently.

Your symptoms are information.

Your nervous system is constantly taking in information from your internal and external environment and deciding how your body needs to respond.

Its job is to protect you.

When it detects stress—whether that stress is physical, emotional, environmental, or simply the result of carrying too much for too long—it responds accordingly.

Your body may become more alert. Your muscles tense. Cortisol increases. Sleep becomes lighter. Digestion can change. Your energy can feel different.

That isn't your body betraying you.

It's responding.

What If Your Body Is Just Doing Its Job?

Think about those 3AM wake-ups.

You’re exhausted, but suddenly your eyes are open.

Your brain starts running.

Your heart might be beating a little faster.

And now you’re lying there calculating exactly how screwed you’re going to be tomorrow if you don't fall asleep in the next 12 minutes. 😩

It feels like your body has forgotten how to sleep.

But another way to look at it is that your nervous system has become very good at staying alert.

That distinction matters.

Because if you believe your body is broken, the obvious response is to keep trying to fix it.

Another supplement.

Another protocol.

Another bedtime routine.

More discipline.

More effort.

But if you understand the symptom as a signal, you can ask a different question:

What is my body responding to?

Now we’re getting somewhere.

Stop Fighting the Signal

When symptoms become uncomfortable, of course you want them gone.

But only asking “How do I make this stop?” can keep you focused on the symptom itself.

Instead, try adding another question:

What might my body need right now?

Maybe you need food.

Maybe you need movement.

Maybe you need sleep.

Maybe you've been going full speed for six days and what you actually need today is recovery.

Maybe you need to stop consuming stressful information for five damn minutes. 😂

Maybe you need a few minutes of breathing, yoga, walking, stillness, or something else that helps your body shift gears.

This is where learning to listen to your body and give it what it needs becomes so important.

And no, that doesn’t mean your body will always ask you to lie on the couch.

Sometimes what you need is rest.

Sometimes it’s movement.

Sometimes it’s a nourishing meal.

Sometimes it’s lifting something heavy.

Sometimes it’s setting a boundary.

The point is learning to work with your body instead of assuming every uncomfortable signal means something has gone wrong.

Regulation Isn't About Being Calm All the Time

This is another place nervous-system conversations can go sideways.

The goal isn't to eliminate stress.

Your nervous system is supposed to activate.

You want access to energy, alertness, focus, strength, and action when you need them.

What matters is whether your system can move between activation and recovery instead of getting stuck in one state.

That flexibility is built through repeated experiences.

Breath.

Movement.

Nutrition.

Sleep.

Rest.

Awareness.

Not perfectly. Consistently.

The goal is a nervous system flexible enough to respond to life and recover afterward.

You're Not Failing Perimenopause

If you've spent months—or years—trying to manage symptoms and wondering why you still don't feel better, I want you to consider something:

Maybe your effort isn't the problem.

Maybe you've simply been pointing that effort in the wrong direction.

Because there's a huge difference between asking:

How do I make my body stop doing this?

and asking:

What is my body trying to tell me?

One puts you in a fight with yourself.

The other gives you somewhere to begin.

Your body isn't your enemy.

It's communicating with you.

And once you learn how to listen, you can finally start working with it instead of against it.